Max is sad because his mom is in hospital

In class

Teacher:Max ,why are you down to day?

Max:because mum is in hospital and dad is at the police station..

Teacher:sorry dear do you want to go home?

Max:yess

Max,goes home and teacher ask the remaining pupils

Teacher: why is Max's father at the police station and the mother in hospital?

Pupils:because his father is a policeman and the mother is a nurse

Teacher: 😡😡 call him back! 😅😅

[Hindi Jokes] Student teacher jokes

Teacher : नाड़े ko english में kya kehte hai...???


Santa : P.H.D.


Teacher : Kya....???


Santa : Pyjaama Holding Device..


Teacher is still behosh..!!

Do you want me to stop or slow down

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education than any cop from Houston. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense.

Deputy says, "License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What for?"

Deputy says, " You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Deputy says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?

Blonde Jokes that will actually make you laugh

There are two blonds on a river.

Blond #1 is on the first side of the river.

Blond #2 is on the second side of the river.

Blond #2 shouts "How do I get to the other side of the river?!"

Blond #1 replies "You already are!"

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Blonde: “What does IDK mean?”

Brunette: “I don’t know.”

Blonde: “OMG, nobody does!”

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A guy was driving in a car with a blonde.

He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked.

She stuck her head out and said, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..."

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How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

"May I take your order?" the blonde waitress asked.

"Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?"

"Nothing special sir," she replied, "we just tell them straight out that they're going to die."

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?

Artificial intelligence!!

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There was a blonde driving in the country side when she went around the corner and saw an ocean of wheat fields.

Then she saw a blonde in a row boat frantically paddling.

The blonde driver yelled out, "Hey! It's blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name and if I knew how to swim, I'd swim out there and kick your ass!"

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Death: It's your time. Give me your hand

Blonde: No! I know that if I don't touch you then I'll never die!

Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You're soooo smart! High five!

Blonde: *high fives*

Death: Typical blonde... Dumbass...

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert one time.

They’d just about given up hope of making it out alive when they found a lamp and rubbed it.

Funnily enough, a genie popped out and said they could each have one wish which would come true.

The redhead wished to be back home and poof! She was back home.

The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family.

The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”

[New Year Jokes] Ek buri khabar hai

I am sorry.

Ek buri khabar hai


Mujey bhool jana plz.

Mujhe kuch dinon baad tumhey,

Hamesha k liye chod kar

Chale jana hey tumhara apna


-2016-

[Jokes] How to reduce Fat

How to reduce weight…??

First turn your head to the right and then to the left.

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Repeat this one whenever you have given something to eat!

[Adult Joke] I like the way you are thinking

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?"

Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off."

The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking."

Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?"

The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream."

Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"