A: a wrapper!
Funny how the year you stop believing in Santa is roughly the year you start getting socks and clothes for Christmas.
Q: Why is Christmas just like your job?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Why is Santa so jolly?
A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Another helicopter tried to land in our garden today. I think we’re going to have to reduce our Christmas lights a bit.
Q: Why doesn't Santa have any kids?
A: He only comes once a year.
Q: Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A: The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.
Q: Why the Christmas tree can't stand up?
A: It doesn't have legs.
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
RUDEolph.
"Lisa thanks her grandpa, ""Thank you Grandpa for the violin you gave me last year for Christmas.
I've never got such a brilliant gift!""
""Really?"" asks the surprised Grandpa.
Lisa says, ""Oh yeah - every time I start playing, mom gives me 2 dollars so I would stop!"""
Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.
Q: What do you call a can wearing a Christmas hat?
A: A Merry Can (American)
Q: What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies?
A: Snowballs.
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.
"What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs!"
What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.
Q: How does a Jew celebrate Christmas?
A: He installs a parking meter on the roof.
Q: What do you call Santa's helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses
One turkey asks another:
"Do you believe in life after Christmas?"
0 on: " Christmas Jokes "